This book features stories of people who have overcome sabotage behavior with the help of author and life coach Lorraine Hockley. Learn about sabotage issues such as addiction, procrastination, money worrying and people-pleasing through reading about their personal experiences.
Lorraine re-interviewed each person four years later, and much can be learned from these follow-up interviews. You will gain valuable insight into how to free yourself from self-sabotage, and finally have the life you have always wanted.
When I started reading this book I didn’t really think I would get much out of it. I consider myself a stable and happy person and I was pretty sure that I don’t have any self-sabotaging behavior, but I was still curious. The more I got into it the more I realized that just about everyone stands in his or her own way from time to time. This is not only a book to read if you think you have a problem but also one that will help recognizing those little things that can be tweaked before they actually develop into one. I had a couple of AHA-moments while reading and I am already adjusting some of my behavior to what I think will make me and the ones around me happier in the future. Thanks Lorraine for an eye opening book and for putting so much time and effort into your restless quest to improve people’s lives. I really mean it when I say that you are one of those who make the world a better place every day. -Michael, New Zealand
A very enlightening read, I certainly recognised myself in those pages! its very powerful to believe destructive traits and beliefs can be seen and changed, and that we do deserve the best for ourselves. That Divine intuition will show us what we need to see as long as we have some willingness, and a basic belief that we deserve good stuff! Thank you for these gentle examples of embracing change. -Rose Brady, New Zealand
This is an insightful gem of a book. Read it and be inspired to commit to a better life. Lorraine’s writing is concise and quick to read, creating ease and a light-heartedness without diminishing what for many of us are deeply entrenched behaviours that cause us unhappiness. As Lorraine points out facing these behaviours can take considerable discipline and commitment but the result is much greater freedom and happiness in your life. Lorraine creates a fictional character called Mark, who is all too real. I recognised all of him in a previous version of myself – overeating, lack of exercise, annoyance at my bosses' inability to value me, a belief that I wasn’t likeable or attractive enough to others hence my lack of a loving intimate relationship … phew, what a relief that I am no longer that person! As I read the book, I realised how far I have come in addressing my own sabotage behaviours – and boy does it feel good. I eat a healthy and fun diet, I exercise regularly and even teach a weekly yoga class, I’m now my own boss and have a successful business, I am with the most wonderful man and have two beautiful children. Lorraine's book is the road map for such a change of attitude and life. Read this book and be inspired to do what truly benefits you and everyone you have contact with. In Lorraine’s words: Make a pact with yourself right now. Stake your claim on a future free of the debilitating effects of sabotage behaviour. Be willing to change, enlist skilled help, and go for it! -Rochelle, New Zealand
Table of Contents:
2. Day in the life of an ordinary saboteur
3. The sabotage behavior cycle
4. Source of sabotage cycle
5. My experience writing this book
7. Continent Hopper
8. People Pleaser/Door Mat
9. Frustrated Creative
10. Money Worrier
13. Relationship Clinger
14. Suicide: The ultimate sabotage behavior
15. Day in the life of a recovering saboteur
16. Transformation of Mark the saboteur
You may think of sabotage as acts of warfare, such as blowing up a railway line. The sabotage I am referring to is far less dramatic. It happens every day of your life – yes, your life. We perform acts of self-sabotage every day, whether we know it or not. But usually we know... When I mention that I'm writing a book on sabotage behavior, the reaction is universal: “Great idea! I need to read about that...” Self-sabotage is now an accepted element of living in a busy world with too many choices and too little time. Well, I don’t accept that sabotage behavior is a natural part of life. I believe you can identify your sabotage issues and learn how to overcome them. My own life, and that of many coaching clients, is proof that it is possible. Before you read further, there are two points I want to emphasize about sabotage behavior – and I 'll continue to stress these points throughout the book:
-Sabotage behavior is a sub-conscious act. It is virtually impossible to overcome it alone. It becomes a cycle, and you need outside help to break free from that cycle. -The biggest factor in overcoming sabotage behavior is being 100% committed to dealing with it, once and for all. The most difficult thing to accept about sabotage behavior is that it is sub-conscious. I have had many successful, intelligent clients express astonishment that they cannot fix the behavior by themselves. “I run a multi-million dollar business – why can’t I sort out a simple issue like eating properly?” I reassure them that the part of them that refuses to eat healthily is quite disconnected from the part that runs a large successful company. I tell them that the most important thing they can do is to commit, with every fiber of their being, to changing this behavior. When a person commits 100% to dealing with their sabotage behavior, and I work with them to bring in new strategies, they will succeed. The best way to start learning about sabotage behavior is to see it in action. I have created a character called Mark, who could be a composite of all my coaching clients. What follows is the story of an average day in Mark’s life, incorporating many common forms of sabotage behavior. Read, smile, cringe, and note the ways you identify with him.
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